18 August 2011

Viable

My wife gasped.
The doctor kept talking, 
but,
my world was on mute.

I drove home on auto-pilot.
Sitting on the couch,
it finally sank in:

the embryo wasn't viable.


Three Word Wednesday CCLLV
gasp, mute, viable

12 comments:

  1. Interesting you wrote this from the man's point of view. I had to double check your profile. How would you have put it the other way round? Emotive piece.

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  2. In fact, the narrator could be male or female. Many lesbian couples choose to get a sperm donor instead of adoption.
    But, the reason I wrote it from that point of view is because that's the way the story formed in my head. I try not to argue with my muse. She's not very helpful when she's angry with me. :)

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  3. omg, this poem is captured my heart, so
    honestly written.

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  4. Very blunt and hard-hitting! Less is more, as is often the case.

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  5. You captured the angst, sadness, frustration in this tight little write. Well done.
    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/08/19/failed-migration/

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  6. the driving home on auto-pilot is very vivid. i like how it's written.

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  7. Awwwww a sad but all too true read.
    Great use of the prompt words. :)

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  8. sometimes people forget that the father is hurting too, This is a very sad piece.

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  9. Kim - thank you.

    Jenni - Vivid is good for connecting with it. I'm glad you enjoyed the writing.

    Daydreamertoo - thanks.

    Sheilagh - You're right. It's an event involving both parents.

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  10. Paige - thank you.

    Li - Fewer words sometimes allows more imagination and personal connection.

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  11. Brilliantly written, someone's whole world in a few short sentences, so well done.

    I was sure I'd commented earlier? my computer keeps freezing so I'm glad I came back :o)

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